So ... write a blog about birthdays and running one month after my birthday and a week after my last run (I worked a lot, don't judge me). I never do things the normal way so it makes sense. Birthdays and running, they make a gal think. Perhaps reflect is a better word. I reflect about happy things, sad things, bad things, mad things, glad things. I reflect on all sorts of things. This is what happens to the deep thinking, analytical mind on it's birthday and on a run...
Next, become distracted and stop writing my birthday blog until AFTER Thanksgiving:) I have been running though and that's just me, the slow, distracted runner girl. The slow, finally proud (of my slowness), distracted and now GRATEFUL runner girl. It's not like I suddenly discovered gratitude. My daddy is a preacher, I grew up on the "milk" of gratitude. SUDDENLY though, gratitude has been heavily on my mind, especially during my runs. I'm happy because it's replacing such HEARTBREAKING things that had been on my mind.
Thanks to the passing of another birthday, a fantastical Thanksgiving and running, I have been reflecting on that for which I am SO VERY grateful. Another birthday has passed and I'm still weird. Thirty seven, no husband, no kids ... weird. YET, the family I do have, many others would give anything to have. I don't have a husband, never have had a man who had my back. Yet, that's NOT true, the father I have, always has and ALWAYS will and my heavenly Father, has it more than any human ever could. When I think of the father or husband I could have?? I am grateful for my daddy and my single status, even if the road to this place has caused great pain.
My reflections on gratitude extend to my job, which has been a roller coaster ride for myself and MANY MANY others. I'm not in the military and you want me to work in a ... TENT?? This is NOT a camping trip and you want me to use a port-a-pot?? A tent it was and I struggled through it with my second "family" and we survived. I thought I may lose my hair a few times when the velcro (that held said tent together) caught my ponytail, but we survived even if the tent tried to scalp us. Fast forward to our BEAUTIFUL "snap together" hospital and I am so grateful to have real walls to work within. Grateful to have a job when I've watched my own father search for a year to find one.
I have increasing gratitude for my HEALTH. I have legs and lungs that can run!! I watched my friend Jenny, young (32?), beautiful, husband and kids (not weird) battle breast cancer this year. She walked through it like it was a beautiful field of flowers, with a grace I am ashamed to say I do not possess. She's AMAZING!! I read an article in my favorite magazine, Runners World. The article about and man and his wife training to run a marathon together until the cruelest of diagnoses, ALS, was handed to his wife. Not to be stopped, he will push her the FULL 26.2 miles and they will "run" their marathon together. My work shows me DAILY the gift of HEALTH!! Rarely a run goes by that I don't reflect on how lucky I am to have big legs that run slowly. When thoughts of those struggling with their health come to mind; I am BEYOND thankful for my short, slow, "field plowing" legs :)
Just this past week, the attitude of gratitude extended to my MIND. My busy mind, accused of dwelling and thinking to much. I became grateful for that mind as I cared for an Alzheimer's pt and his wife. He's a "Worlds Greatest Grandpa" type. A tall, fairly young, handsome, strong and essentially healthy man that looked at me with fear and distrust in his eyes. As I tried to assure him he was safe, for a moment he believed me. In the next moment he couldn't remember what I'd said. His disease is at it's worst point. He still at times knows his mind failing and he was SCARED. I saw true fear and confusion in his big brown eyes. The eyes of his wife were not scared but TIRED. The handsome man who'd always had her back was now trying to hurt her. The love, grace and class this woman displayed AMAZED me!!! She's my hero!
I have thought of them many times this week and I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for this busy, busy mind of mine. They may say many bad things about it but what the HELL do "they" know?? :) God made this over thinking mind of mine and for it, I'm grateful . It remembers hurtful things FAR to easily but hopefully it will make me less inclined to be hurtful. It remembers the times I have BEEN the person to cause the hurt to the point of guilt, but I want to remember so I don't make those mistakes again. It remembers WAY to much to a fault!! Yet, it helps me write this little blog. If my rookie writing does ONE thing, I hope it encourages, just as my favorite blogs/writers encourage me!! It REMEMBERS, loves, hurts, hopes, thinks and thinks and thinks. It REMEMBERS the sad, fearful brown eyes of man losing his mind and I'm SO grateful that mine hasn't betrayed me.
Running, the GIFT of running makes me grateful for my blessings. I reflect on those blessings when I run. It gives me such ADMIRATION for those around me who's battles and hurts inspire me and remind me of the gifts God has given me. What story would your gratitude blog tell?
Find your running ...
